First-time Parent Alert: Expert Heike vom Heede Answers Your Questions

The countdown has started. In a few months, you’ll be welcoming a brand-new addition to your family. We’re sure you’re full of happiness and expectations—but also, lots of questions. Do I have everything I need? Am I preparing my body properly for birth? And of course: when can I eat sushi again? Pour some tea, put those swollen feet up, and join our conversation with German baby/childhood expert Heike vom Heemde, founder of the Family Institute in Düsseldorf.

With all the information available online these days, having your first baby is a breeze, right? Sorry, we just spit a little tea out. While we grab a burp cloth to clean that up, we’d love to introduce you to Heike vom Heede, who has been helping expectant parents and families navigate their respective journeys for over 20 years. She and her team of specialists know the ins and outs of parenthood and have seen countless trends come and go. If you’re feeling overwhelmed by your latest Google search, you’re in the right place.

#1 stressor for parents-to-be 

Let’s start with the question that, according to our own research, is top of mind for every first-time parent: how can I best prepare for the challenges I’ll be facing once the baby comes and ensure he/she has the best possible start? According to Heike, parental adequacy is a concern we all feel deeply, and yet the answers to those questions are already within us. “Preparation doesn’t mean solving every challenge in advance—that’s simply not possible. Much more important is for parents to be aware: We are already a good team, and we will also take on this task together. Talking about values and priorities gives a sense of security—for example: What matters most to us in the first weeks? What do we want to pay attention to, and where can we be more relaxed?” 

Relaxed? Yes, please! Heike says that even your Google searches are nothing to worry about. “It’s absolutely fine to seek orientation from outside sources,” she notes. “But in the end, what counts most is your own gut feeling—that inner sense is usually the safest compass. Outside perspectives are useful to gain confidence and reinforce trust in your own decisions. That’s how a healthy balance between knowledge, experience and heart develops.”

5 things you should have on hand before the baby comes 

Right after the big, philosophical questions comes a very simple and practical one: do I have all the material things I need to welcome the baby? Because we always have your back, we asked the expert for a top 5 checklist of baby items you’ll want to have at the ready.

Preparing your body for childbirth 

Now that you’ve got your shopping list, what can you do to prepare yourself for the birth? If you’re wondering how active you can be during pregnancy and when you should slow down (and we know you are), Heike has the answer. “Preparing the body for birth mainly means giving it attention, movement, and rest. In consultation with your doctor, you can certainly continue your sport. Movement is fundamentally important.” 

She further explains, “An active mom can develop a good awareness of breathing early on, especially if she prepares with yoga or Pilates. But swimming and walking can also build strength, endurance, and flexibility. In the first months, you can usually do quite a lot, as long as you don’t overstrain your body. In the last trimester, it makes sense to slow down a little and choose gentler movements to prepare for birth.” Sounds like great advice to us! “Listen to your body,” Heike emphasises. Movement and activity are very valuable, but rest and self-care are just as essential.” 

A valuable yet flexible guide 

We like the sound of “rest and self-care.” But what about the birth itself? As Heike points out, “Birth is both an adventure and a marathon—we don’t know where it will lead.” Having a birth plan is essential, “but it should always remain flexible,” she says. “I would advise expectant parents to start by discussing their values and ideas. What’s important to them? Peace and quiet, closeness, pain management, support from certain people? Then you can include the medical options and consider which ones are realistic at the hospital or birthing centre”. 

 She even lists some key aspects to consider in your birth plan. “Methods of pain relief, the role of the partner, preferred birthing positions and how to handle unexpected situations. Ultimately, the plan should serve as orientation. Openness and trust in your own intuition are just as crucial as the plan itself.” 

 The most important takeaway? “Trust that your body can do this. Welcome the contractions—each one brings you closer to your child. As mental preparation, ask yourself: Do I have the team I want, the one that will support and step in if our child shows that things are going differently than our plan anticipated?”