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Expectation vs Reality: Your First Stroll with Baby, SOS!
Youāve fantasised about this moment since the first sonogram: the day you get to introduce your little one to the big, wonderful world. After the months of bonding with baby while pregnant, following weeks cocooning as a new family at home, itās only natural to be full of expectations and high hopes. However, just like parenthood itself, the reality of this very special time can look quite different to what you were expecting. But weāre here to guide you through it, with a healthy dose of humour, support and an extra, freshly sterilized dummy to pack in the nappy bag.
Youāre in love with the little miracle you and your partner created, and you canāt wait to show them off to the world. Youāve selected the cutest outfit you were gifted at the baby shower, complete with the tiny, adorable shoes theyāll only fit into for the next week. Last night, you couldnāt sleep from all the excited anticipation (yup, it was the anticipation, not the multiple after midnight feedings!) of your babyās debut. Your phone is charged to 100% to capture all those Instagram-worthy first moments and youāve saved a brand-new nursing bra for the outing. Youāve planned it all out beautifullyā¦what could possibly go wrong?
Honestly, we could think of a million things. What if the baby wonāt stop screaming? What if they need to eat? What if I forgot to pack something? What if the baby is too cold? Or too warm? Will I be able to deal with a nappy blow-out? What if thereās more than one?! The anxiety is real. But before you completely lose yourself down that rabbit hole, stop, breathe and remember youāre not alone, and the first time is always the hardest. With practice, everything gets easier. Now, letās get started.
Expectation: A seamless, easy-going morning getting baby and yourself ready
You wake up not to the sounds of your mini-me crying for a snack, but to delightful birdsong just outside your bedroom window. Despite only getting a few hoursā sleep, you look radiant. Motherhood really agrees with you, because you still seem to have that pregnancy glow. While you apply the tiniest bit of mascara and lip balm in the mirror, your darling treasure naps a few metres away and your partner is double-checking the nappy bag for all the essentials that you packed up last night. Is there an award for Best Prepared New Mom? You are nailing this, you think as you glide out of the house.
Reality: Morning coffee (yeah, right) with a heaping slice of chaos
You donāt remember the last time you slept more than 2 hours in a row. Being careful to avoid all mirrors, you manage to find the last clean top you own (until your partner helpfully points out the spit up on the right shoulder). You stab yourself no less than 4 times with the eyeliner pencil while baby shows off their operatic crying rangeāyou might have an actual prima donna on your hands hereābefore giving up altogether. Your time is better used gathering all the stuff you forgot to pack up last night, each item with 4 different backups spread throughout every room in your house.
Expectation: A calm and uneventful car ride to the cafƩ
Arenāt you proud of yourself for picking out the perfect car seat? Safe, secure and so easy to situate your precious cargo in the back seat. Because theyāre still napping like the sweet little angel they are, you have all the time to select the perfect soundtrack: Siri, play Taylor Swiftās new album. You catch yourself smiling in the rearview mirror, because honestly, you thought this would all be a lot tougher than it actually is. Soon youāll be surrounded by your best friends, sipping a latte as big as your head (why notā¦you already pumped!) while they marvel at how quiet and angelic your infant is.
Reality: Are we there yet? Not even close.
To get the baby in the car seat properly requires an intricate and perfectly choreographed dance that most resembles a cheat code from your partnerās favourite PlayStation game. Thatās why you must yell to him for help while balancing a (still screaming) baby on your hip. He reminds youāonce again, ever so helpfullyāthat he wanted to buy the other, much simpler car seat. You think about texting your friends that youāre running 20 minutes late, then promptly realise you left your phone inside. The angry, red-faced little devil in the back seat is warning you with each loud squeal that you just need to forget it.
Expectation: A grand entrance and welcome to the motherhood club
Arriving at the cafĆ©, all eyes are on you and the most adorable baby thatās ever lived. Other mothers give you a knowing grin and coo at your little treasure as you effortlessly make your way to the table. You wave pleasantly to them and wonder if they once found this new motherhood gig as easy as you do now. You spot a harried mom in the corner trying to spoon applesauce into her toddlerās mouth and getting a blood-curdling scream for her efforts. If only all children were as innocent and sweet as yours, right? Itās hard not to feel a little smug, but you give them a sympathetic smile as you pass.
Reality: Stumbling and leaking
Youāre certain you parked illegally, but youāve already been around the block 3 times and youāre SO late. Youāre also partially deaf in your left ear thanks to the non-stop arias your baby was performing en route. Wrestling the baby from the car seat, you feel a dampness settle over your chest. So much for the clean nursing bra! Finally, you get to your friendsā table, manoeuvring the pushchair between too-close tables and trying to avoid rolling over toddlers playing (quietly, innocently) with blocks on the floor. With a sinking feeling, you order a green tea, because youāre going to have to feed the baby soon. Again.
Expectation: Cosy chat and wide-eyed admiration for your skills
Surrounded by your besties, you pick up where you left off before the baby came. Phones with holiday photos are passed around, and you pick yours up to snap a few candids of your friends smiling with the Worldās Most Beatific Baby in their arms. They are not moms yet, but they hope to be, someday. And who can blame them? Now that theyāve seen how youāve completely mastered the art of motherhood in just a few weeks (and smelled the uniquely amazing aroma of New Baby Head emanating from your mini-me!) you imagine that at this same time next year, there will be more pushchairs around the table.
Reality: Code brown incoming
Instead of asking your friend to repeat herself for the 4th time, you decide to just smile and nod. You didnāt think it was possible, but your baby hates this setting even more than the car and lets you know by reaching a high C that now renders you 100% deaf in your left ear. Where is their left shoe? Did you lose it on the way, or did it fall off in the car? Your green tea goes cold as you take inventory of the nappy bag. A friend asks if she should pick up the baby to give you a break, and youāre so moved by this small kindness, you barely notice the ungodly stench radiating from babyās backside as you had them over.
The difference is in between
Weāve had some fun talking about what could go right (or horribly wrong) during your first day out with a tiny human. The fact of the matter is that the true outcome will be something in between your perfect expectations and the (somewhat exaggerated for comedic effect) reality we painted for you here. We hope you had some giggles, but as always, we also want to share some wisdom. How can you best cope with the expectations vs. reality of this milestone? And how can we make it less scary for you to get yourself and the baby out the door for the first time? Hereās five tips to get you through.
Be flexible
If thereās one thing we know about parenthood, itās that flexibility is a superpower. Things arenāt always going to go as planned, and thatās okay. Itās best to embrace the unpredictability and try to relax. Studies show that a newborn picks up on mumās energy and might even feel second-hand stress, so the calmer you are, the better it is for baby.
Nothing is set in stone
Your baby loves a late-night car ride to lull them to sleep but hates the car the next day? Donāt abandon hope. Babies are fickle; they can like something one day and throw the biggest tantrum youāve ever seen about it the next. What weāre saying is, one bad day doesnāt mean all bad days.
Donāt forget to laugh
Sometimes parenthood is just downright absurd, and the only thing you can do is throw your head back and laugh. Laughter is great stress relief, and finding humour in a difficult situation is something that will serve you well throughout your entire journey. Snickering is better than sobbing, and more sustainable.
Celebrate the small wins
Seriously, it doesnāt matter how small they are. Did your baby let you sleep 3 continuous hours instead of 2 last night? Hurray! Made it to the grocery store and back without a nappy explosion? Brilliant! Truly, the size of the victory isnāt important, only that itās one for the win column.
Test runs are helpful
The picture we painted for you here was quite ambitious: taking baby out all by yourself for the very first time to have coffee with (or without) your friends. Itās probably best to start off with something shorter and sweeter. Somewhere closer to home that doesnāt require driving, for example. That way, you can gauge babyās tolerance for the outdoors while still being able to quickly return home to comfort them if needed. And never forget: the more often you go out with baby, the more confident youāll becomeāyouāll be handling all these unexpected situations like a pro. Just give yourself time to adjust to this new life.
And now youāre ready. Pack up that nappy bag and always remember: every outing with your newborn creates memories and is a learning experience, both for baby and for you. Enjoy the ride!
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