Your toddler says "no" to everything (and yes, that's normal)

"Do you want breakfast?" No. "Let's put on your shoes." No. "Should we go to the park?" No. "Do you want ice cream?" No. Wait. Ice cream? Really? Who says no to ice cream?

A toddler. A toddler says no to ice cream. Because it's not about the ice cream. It's never about the ice cream. Welcome to the no-phase. That period where your sweet baby has morphed into a tiny human who has discovered the most powerful word in the English language. And boy, are they using it."

You're not doing anything wrong

"We need you to hear this: your toddler rejecting everything you say is not your fault. It's not because you let them watch Bluey for ""just ten more minutes"" that turned into an hour. It's not because of that time they ate something off the floor and you pretended you didn't see it.

We've all been there. Solidarity. The no-phase is completely normal. Your little one is figuring out they're a separate person from you. They have their own opinions now. Their own very strong feelings about which cup they drink from. And ""no"" is the simplest way they know to show you they exist. It's actually a sign of healthy brain development. So... yay?"

When does it end?

Most kids start somewhere between 18 months and 2 years, peaking around 2 to 3. The "terrible twos." Although we've always thought that name undersells it. When does it end? Around 3 to 4. Though some kids clearly didn't get that memo. The silver lining: it does end. The less silver lining: there's always a new phase after it. But that's a problem for future you.

Things that might actually help

No guarantees. But these have worked for us at least 40% of the time, which in toddler terms is basically a miracle.

- Turn it into a competition

"Bet I can brush my teeth faster than you!" It's silly. It's manipulative. It works. Our toddler will refuse his shoes for fifteen minutes, but if we say "race you!" he's suddenly Usain Bolt with velcro.

- Warnings. So many warnings.

Toddlers hate transitions. We're leaving the playground? BETRAYAL. Getting out of the bath? TRAGEDY. So we've become those parents who narrate the future constantly. "Five more minutes." "Two more minutes." "One more slide." Does it always work? Ha. No. But we'll take whatever edge we can get.

- Let them win sometimes

Not every hill is worth dying on. Tutu to the supermarket? Fine. Weird crusty stick they found? Whatever. Dinner in nonsensical order? Go for it, kid. Save your energy for the non-negotiables: car seats, holding hands near roads, not biting. The rest? Let it go.

- Be ready for the U-turn

"I want to WALK!" becomes "CARRY ME!" after 200 metres. "No stroller!" becomes "I'm TIRED!" halfway through the park. The trick is being prepared for both. We created the Joolz Aer² x Wildride bundle for exactly these moments. A lightweight stroller for when they cooperate, a toddler carrier for when they won't but those little legs have given up. One hand for your toddler, one hand for everything else. Ask us how we know.

What probably doesn't help

Asking yes/no questions. "Do you want to go to bed?" You've handed them a rejection on a plate. Instead: "It's bedtime. Walk to your room or hop like a bunny?" It took us embarrassingly long to figure this out.

Trying to out-stubborn them. You will lose. They have unlimited time and energy. You have responsibilities and a dwindling will to live. The maths doesn't work.

Taking it personally. When they scream "NO!" for the fiftieth time before 9am, it stings. But they're not rejecting you. They're rejecting the concept of trousers. Toddlers are basically tiny philosophers having an existential crisis.

You're doing better than you think!

Parenting through this phase is relentless. It's the same battle every day, sometimes every hour. It's exhausting in a way that's hard to explain to anyone who hasn't lived it. But you're here. You're trying. You're googling "toddler no phase" at midnight while they finally sleep. That's love. And someday, you'll ask them to do something and they'll just... do it. No negotiation. No drama. And you'll stand there in complete shock. Until then: we've got this. One "no" at a time. What a ride.

Surviving the no-phase with a toddler who refuses to walk but also refuses the pushchair? The Joolz Aer² x Wildride bundle has your back. For more survival tips, check out the Parent hideout.